Ep. 123 - Don’t Be the Angry Mom! Overcome Mom Anxiety and Support Your Mental Health by Asking These 3 Important Questions with Jessica Jenkins, Founder of the Better Battery Co.
Jessica Jenkins is the Co-Founder of Better Battery Co., the first and only Carbon-Neutral Alkaline Battery.
Growing up in the family consumer electronic business, Jessica gained passion for entrepreneurship. While completing her degrees, Jessica worked closely with her father’s carbon neutral alkaline battery company and was instrumental in the creation of Better Battery Co.
As a busy mother of two beautiful young boys, Jessica quickly realized the ever present need for batteries, a guilt-free option for disposing of them, and a calling to make eco-friendlier switches for her family when possible.
Jessica divides her time engaged in private practice as a clinical social worker and honored to be supporting individuals in their journey to become better versions of themselves, and working alongside her sister in bringing their vision of Better Battery Co. to fruition.
In this episode, Jessica and I chatted about
Launching a product business while working full-time and co-parenting
Explanation of what carbon neutral is
Teaching your children about climate change and why as a mom she feels it’s her responsibility to take part
The maternal mental health issues moms are facing daily from overwhelm of day-to-day life, perinatal depression and lack of community
Questions you can ask your friends to check in on them without asking “how are you doing”
Self nurturing not self-care and how to self nourish yourself
What to do when you start to feel anxiety coming on and how to cope with those moments so you’re not the “angry mom”
Recognizing when you need a break and how to ask for support
Follow Jessica at
Website: betterbattery.co
Instagram: @betterbatteryco
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Ep. 123 - Jessica Jenkins Transcript
[00:00:00] Stephanie: Welcome back to Mommy's on the Call. Today I'm bringing to you Jessica Jenkins. Jessica's the co-founder of Better Battery Company, the first and only carbon neutral alkaline battery. Growing up in a family consumer electronic business, Jessica gained a passion for entrepreneurship. While completing her degree she worked closely with her father's carbon neutral alkaline battery company and was instrumental in the creation of better battery.
As a busy mother of two young boys, Jessica quickly realized that the ever present need for batteries, a guilt free option for disposing them and a calling to make eco friendlier switches for her family when possible, Jessica divides her time engaged in a private practice as a clinical social worker, and is honored to be supporting individuals in their journey to become better versions of themselves and working alongside her sister and bringing their vision of better battery co to fruition.
Welcome, Jessica.
[00:01:44] Jessica: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me.
[00:01:47] Stephanie: I'm excited to have you all the way from Canada. I'm exciting. I do an international guest. Yes. Well, to start, I wanted to ask what has been your biggest mom win of the week?
[00:01:59] Jessica: Oh, okay. That is a great question. Can we go back to last week?
Because I feel like this has been like life changing for me and it's probably not a mom win that is typical, but last week I went on vacation for myself with a girlfriend. Something I have never done since I have been a mother. I was, you know, both of us were so tentative about it. She's a mom of young kids, too worried.
What's it gonna be like? Am I gonna be able to relax? I think I was more worried about what I was gonna feel like being away versus how my kids were gonna manage. I knew they would be fine, they would be well taken care of. So it was a big mom win for me in the sense that I went through with it and went away and took some time, much needed time for myself to be able to like unwind and relax and nurture myself in in different ways.
So that is my mom win.
[00:02:48] Stephanie: That's a perfect mom win. I did the same thing last week, but I'm gonna ask you, how many days were you gone and where did you go, and then what
[00:02:54] Jessica: did you do?
Okay. Yes. So I went to Hobash Mexico. We went for five nights, kind of six days. Wow. Uh, it was incredible. Like warm hot, hot, hot in the sun every day.
And honestly, we did whatever we wanted. It was a lot of sleeping in some yoga. Really good food at adult restaurants. Great conversation, laughs, tears, all of it. Just really time to like connect and unwind. And I just find there is something so healing about being by the ocean for me. I forgot about that.
I was like, oh yes, the sun, the ocean. I needed this.
[00:03:34] Stephanie: That's perfect. And so actually on that note, How did it go at home and how did you set yourself up? Because for example, I went last week to Sedona. I only went for three days, two nights. But like , the process of getting my family ready for that in terms of like, okay, logistics, like school and all that.
Mm-hmm. . And I know you said you have a four and a six year old, so I assume the six year old is in school right now. Mm-hmm. Elementary School. So how did you kind of prepare your behind the scenes to get ready to go and like, or were you. Peace out. , figure it out. Cause a lot of moms have that question, we want to take time for ourselves.
Yes. But then the mental stress of figuring it out Yeah. Is like, sometimes you're like, Okay, just forget it. I'm not gonna do it. So walk us through it. Yeah.
[00:04:16] Jessica: It feels like too much. Right. So what's, So we aren't a two household family. So my, my son split their time between being at their dad's house. So that was super easy, right?
They're all set up there. That was easy breezy. They're both in school. And then for the second half of it, they were spending time at my, my parents' house. So I had to pack their little suitcases, get them ready. Yes, I let the school know I sent their health cards with everything and Murphy's Law, they were sick the entire time.
[00:04:44] Stephanie: Oh no.
[00:04:46] Jessica: Yes, So no school ended up having to go to the doctor both on antibiotics. So like, of course it didn't go as planned, but we managed through it.
[00:04:56] Stephanie: That's great. And yeah, so you mentioned two households. Can you give a little bit of context about your family structure, your family situation? What does that look like in the roles that you and.
Father plays.
[00:05:10] Jessica: Yeah. So their father and I were married, still married, separated, currently. Okay. Um, living apart and, and the kids have either time between the two of us, so we do have a, a structured routine. We both kind of work in unconventional professions where there's not really a lot of structure predictability.
So it allows us the, the freedom to be able to do that. When my sons are at their dad's house, that is when I like really go full out with my workday, stretch it as long as I can, get all of the things I need to to do for them. And the same on his end too. He works in hospitality, so he's working more late afternoon into the evening.
So when the kids are with me, that allows him the opportunity to do that. Luckily, our kids were quite young when we transition, so it has been pretty seamless for them. A pretty easy adaptation.
[00:05:59] Stephanie: Yeah. I was gonna ask how co-parenting is going? What ages were they when you separated?
[00:06:05] Jessica: So they were two and four.
[00:06:06] Stephanie: Okay. I was gonna say that was pretty much in the beginning of the pandemic when that happened. So how did that look, and especially being in Canada, how did they adjust? How were you guys dealing with all of that and you know, the lockdowns in Canada and going from household to household and also co-parenting?
It's an interesting thing.
[00:06:26] Jessica: It is. Co-parenting has been very interesting, lots of ups and downs, but I, I feel really grateful that we're both really aligned in, like, boys come first. That is our primary interest. So we really make an effort to, to make things work as best we can for them. We had made the decision to separate just before the pandemic and then with lockdowns and everything logistically, we had to stay in the same household.
For about another six months before we could go our separate ways.
[00:06:55] Stephanie: Oh, wow. .
[00:06:56] Jessica: Yeah, so it was, it was a lot of time at home altogether, which I was grateful for. But yeah, it certainly threw some wrenches in what we saw, you know, in trying to plan to make this as as easy for the children as possible. And then,
Yeah. Kind of the theme of the last two years I feel like has been to pivot and adjust and so we had to in that case too.
[00:07:19] Stephanie: What do you think is your biggest advice for parents going through kind of co-parenting right now? Like what is the best thing that you have personally done for your kids that you think can help other moms?
[00:07:28] Jessica: I think one of the big things has been to really to. Focused on the children. It's, you know, even in our communication, right, let's just keep it about the children, it's easy to get caught up in other things, in past things, right? And how everyone is spending their time. So we've really just made a commitment to like, our priority to each other is to be the best parents that we can be.
How do we support each other in doing that?
[00:07:55] Stephanie: So it's interesting. On the podcast, I've interviewed a lot of separated parents and a lot of co-parenting situations, and a lot of them had said, It's interesting, like almost married couples should try co-parenting sometimes in order to benefit their careers.
And so I wanted to switch gears and talk a little bit about, because you're balancing both being a clinical social worker, you have your own practice. Mm-hmm. , and you launched a company. Mm-hmm. . And so you're an entrepreneur and you're this, you have two things and young kids. And so do you find that you were able to dive into this more because.
Like the kids were away. Like how, I guess, how are you able to do all of this at once? ,
[00:08:33] Jessica: I think every day looks a little bit different. I just take time when I can. Everything was kind of a slow transition. So I was involved in agency work after I, you know, I went back after my second mat leave. Quickly realized that wasn't conducive to the lifestyle I wanted to live.
High stress, unpredictable hours. I felt like I never got to see my children. So it was like, okay, how do I make a move outta here? So then I started seeing clients, you know, offering therapy in the evenings, building up a bit of a caseload that way to make that leap. And then the batteries, again, sort of slowly dipping in.
Transitioning and Yeah, some days are, are, are crazy busy, overwhelming. Right. I have a good support network. ,
[00:09:16] Stephanie: how do you split that time? So like on a day, say you don't have your kids, they're at their fathers. Like, what does your workday look like?
[00:09:23] Jessica: On a day that I don't have my kids, I usually, I get up. Those are my days when I like have my commitment to myself, I'm gonna work out cuz I really have no excuses on these days. And then I work throughout the day. I'll see clients pretty much eight to 10 hours I usually spend at my office and, you know, divide it between seeing clients, battery calls, social media, hopping on the phone with my sister or my dad, checking in with them, responding to emails.
I don't know that it's much of a divide. It's kind of just tape. Whatever is the biggest priority at that moment.
[00:09:56] Stephanie: And then the days that you do have your kids, what does that look like?
[00:10:00] Jessica: I've made a commitment to, I, I love being able to pick up my kids from school, so that was a big one for me. That was something I wasn't able to do previously.
They were in before care and aftercare, which, you know, I understand works at times, but for me it was difficult. So I, I, you know, I wanted to be the one to pick them up, to drop them off and to pick them up. So I will get my workday in, pick them up, make a concentrated effort to have nothing scheduled during that time, dinner, spend time with them, and then usually resume working, some emails, whatever it might be after they've gone to bed.
[00:10:35] Stephanie: So the battery company, let's talk a little bit about that because it's so interesting. And I actually have a box of them and they're amazing. And I didn't realize how many batteries I use having three kids all like the amount of batteries we go through is crazy.
I read that you came from a background and your dad was in consumer electronics. Mm-hmm. , how did you start a battery company? I mean, , did you just wake up one day and be like, Yeah, this sounds great. I'm gonna make batteries of all things. There you go. Batteries. Yeah. So where in your, like, I guess mom life or life, did this happen? And talk to me about the journey
[00:11:10] Jessica: So it has been a journey, like we are going back about 10 years now. So my dad, , growing up, he always had an a consumer electronics business. He's entrepreneur himself. I, I definitely have learned a lot from him in terms of how he lives his life, how to take risks, how to be strategic. So he had his company and he saw this battery company.
At the time, they were carbon neutral. Fully recyclable and he was like, Wow, yes, this is innovative. Like this is where the future is headed. And he purchased it and did some rebranding. So at this time I was between university and doing my, my postgraduate and I worked with him and we tried to get these batteries into all of the major retailers.
Across North America and at every turn we were sort of blocked. Like, no, our green space isn't that big. You know what? People don't really care that much about green products or recycling or just flat out, you know what, We've got a contract with some of the other big brands and they're saying, Uhuh, no way can you pick up this little small guy.
So kind of faded out of that space and then a few years ago came back to it like, We need to do something with this. We really believed in the product using batteries, you know, learning more. The climate crisis that we're in and seeing other companies sort of model this circular economy where they are taking ownership of what happens at the end of life of their products.
We decided to incorporate all of those pieces. So, okay, so let's get this in front of people in a different way. Let's go direct to consumer instead of going through the retail channels. Still very much believe in being carbon neutral, offsetting, you know, whatever we can.
[00:12:49] Stephanie: And I was gonna say, I'm gonna ask you.
To explain to the audience, I know a lot of people know about climate change and carbon neutral, but what exactly is it and you know, where. I guess for batteries, for example, like what does this mean? What is carbon neutral?
[00:13:04] Jessica: So for us, carbon neutral means we are partnered with carbon fund.org, a great organization and they help us complete a life cycle analysis.
So they look at every aspect of the production packaging, distribution, shipping of our battery the entire life cycle and calculate what the carbon emissions would be. So we're talking about like your greenhouse gases, right? What we're putting out into the environment and determine a sort of price point I guess, that we would need to contribute to offset.
And so that, what that means is that we pay a certain amount per battery cell that goes to carbon fund dot. They use those funds to contribute to projects such as, you know, reforestation, truck stop electrification, so projects that are working towards offsetting the carbon and greenhouse gas emissions that are already in the environment.
Yeah, I don't know if that was a great explanation, but
[00:14:01] Stephanie: Well, cause I was curious, like you have two different batteries, right? Yes. Yes. A brand that we won't say And your brand. Yeah. Yeah. And so when I'm looking at them like what happens to a normal battery versus what happens to a carbon neutral battery?
Like what is the, what is the difference?
[00:14:17] Jessica: Yeah, so there's not really much of a difference in terms of the battery itself. It's more that the, you know, you can feel assured in purchasing our battery that we are doing our part to offset the carbon. Got, yes, that is, you know, emitted through the entire process of producing, shipping you that
[00:14:35] Stephanie: battery.
And it's really cute because I love the box that comes in. There's like a little roadmap and then you can put the battery. Second. And so you ship it back to you and so that it's properly disposed.
[00:14:45] Jessica: Yes. So that was the other component that was really important to us is what do we do with battery? So I, I don't know if there is a sort of program set up where you are, but here in our municipality, they send us a zip lock bag once a year that you're supposed to collect all of your depleted batteries over the course of a year.
And then there's one week when you can like put it out on your curb side to pick up. So it suffice to say , that is one step
[00:15:12] Stephanie: ahead of America here because we don't have anything there. And for all I know the batteries go in the trash. Yes. But they're not supposed to. You're supposed to like e-waste or whatnot.
But yes, for the most part, I think they end up in our trash.
[00:15:27] Jessica: Yeah, and you know what? Even here, just because the program isn't really that easy, right? If you miss that week, also, I hate having like collections of batteries rolling around in my junk tour. I never know, is this a new one? Is this an old one?
And I'm sure you can appreciate like when a battery runs out in a toy. You need to replace that right away.
[00:15:46] Stephanie: Yes, you do. And you're right, Like I don't know which ones are good or bad, and even if I put them in a zip block, they might fall out and all of that. Exactly. Yeah. And you don't know. So then, okay, so you start working with your dad, you mm-hmm.
start building out for a direct to consumer. Mm-hmm. . And like what has been your, do you just like, do you have a passion for climate change and for all of this, like, and how do you, do you involve your kids at all in any.
[00:16:13] Jessica: I like to say that they're involved, especially I, I mean, and maybe not really by choice, but over the course of the pandemic, when everything turned to virtual meetings, Zoom calls, they were home from school, you know, they were part of it.
I would be on calls with. Our, our marketing agency are, you know, 15 individuals, all different little cameras on the, on the screen, and they would be coming by and like a Halloween costume or needing a snack or like, you know, their juice box open. So they are very much been a part of it in, in that sense.
And because it is part of the family, you know, they. They're, they hear conversations about it. They understand. Yeah.
[00:16:51] Stephanie: Do you teach your kids about climate change? And if so, how Or do you teach them about how to be, Cause I think, right now I hear a lot about like, you know, detoxing your house and all of this, and it's a very central thing.
Like, Oh, we're not gonna use chemicals. Oh, we're not gonna do this. But there's not the next step. What happens afterwards outside our home? Like, yes, that's good for your own personal health, but how are we helping the environment? So I'm curious if there's anything you do to teach your kids about that or what any suggestions on how we can teach our kids, like what the better Battery Code does to kind of explain it to children.
[00:17:25] Jessica: Yeah. And I like to think, you know, you asked if I was passionate about climate change and like, of course, you know, in a sense. But it really comes back to my kids and wanting to be able to offer them a clean future and environment and be able to experience, you know, I think about even just the experience I had traveling to another country and swimming in the ocean.
I want them to be able to swim in the ocean, to go snorkeling, to have those opportunities. And I, I really fear that if we don't make some pretty big changes that that might not be a reality for them or, you know, my future grandchildren.
So yeah, we, we try to make little swaps, you know, we focus on recycling even when we're out on walks, you know, they're always pointing out litter and, Oh, you know, we should come back and pick that up mommy.
I was weeding my garden the other day and my four year old's like, You have to leave the dandelions for the. Like where did you learn that? .
[00:18:17] Stephanie: Aww. Yes. Well, to switch gears a little bit on your other side of your business, you know, you work with a lot of moms in maternal mental health. Mm-hmm. and right now, I think mean post go.
There's so much going on in our world. Absolutely. And especially with moms. And wanted to talk a little bit about that You know, what are you seeing right now and how can we help moms out there? What can we do for ourselves to make sure that, you know, we're setting ourselves up for success?
Because, , they always say like, it's great to do everything for your kids, but , if you as mom like you taking a six day trip for like a mental and kind of like physical break is really important. Yeah. So, you know right now what are you seeing going on and how can we help moms out there?
[00:19:02] Jessica: Certainly in our practice, we have seen an influx in the amount of, of mom seeking support related to, to just managing the overwhelm of day to day life. Struggling with new, with new Parenthood, with feelings of isolation, especially during the pandemic, increased rates of perinatal depression and anxiety Really.
I think moms have been struggling with that lack of community. You know, we need other people, we need other moms. We need other supports to check in. And I think that that would be one of the biggest takeaways I have is check in on each other, right? Ask, how are you really doing right? And let's talk about it.
There are some really awful, scary things happening, right? And we need to, to be able to have some open conversations about how that impacts us. You know, how, how we're feeling, what comes up for us. Because I think we're all collectively experiencing the same things, but need to be able to, to give some voice to that.
[00:20:01] Stephanie: So I actually, I, I wanted to ask on this, because. You know, I do check in on my friends and I'll say like, How are you doing? But on the flip side, when someone asks, How are you doing? A mom's generic response is like, Oh, you know, like things are busy or things are good. Yeah. And like it's hard to open up.
And so do you have any tips that we can give or, or different ways to ask the question to really start that conversation? Because I do see that a lot. I'm like, Oh, how are you doing? Or even when people ask me and I don't open up, so maybe if someone asked me, not like, how are you doing per se? I, I don't know like where I'm going with this, but like, can you give us some pointers on how to start conversations?
[00:20:39] Jessica: Yeah, absolutely. And I think you're so right. I even do that myself, right? How are you doing? Hanging in there? That seems to be like, busy,
[00:20:45] Stephanie: You know, the kids like things are crazy. Like I feel like I have the same generic 10 responses that I give. Right, Because you also don't want to mentally dump everything and say like, Yes.
Oh my God, things are crazy. You know, my daughter's waking up like I'm not sleeping. Like, cuz then you just sound negative. And then I'm like, I don't wanna be negative, I wanna be positive. Yeah. And then you go through the like, well, better not say anything. So, yes. Help me. Like if, if I came to you and I was asking you, Okay like how do I do this? ?
[00:21:11] Jessica: Yeah. So there, I just read an article about this interestingly, and there is this question that they suggested and I love it. It's so not, How are you doing? Are you feeling like yourself? And I think that opens up Yes. Right, .
[00:21:27] Stephanie: And if you say no, then what?
[00:21:30] Jessica: Yeah. And then what? And then why not?
What needs to change? Right. What are you missing right now? Hmm.
[00:21:37] Stephanie: I'm missing sleep. But then how?
[00:21:41] Jessica: Yeah, and, and you know what? Sometimes there isn. An answer, right? Logistically there might not be a solution, but I think there's a lot of power in even like release or comfort that can come in just sharing that, You know what, Instead of like, Oh, I'm hanging in there, I'm exhausted, , I'm exhausted, right?
Like I know that I can't get any sleep, but I just needed someone to know how exhausted I'm feeling. Right?
[00:22:08] Stephanie: And then as a friend, how would I respond to someone who says that to me? Yeah.
[00:22:13] Jessica: I think it would just be empathizing. Right? It's so hard. You're so busy right now. Of course you're feeling exhausted.
Right? I can imagine how tiring it is. Look at all of the things you're doing, how hard you're working,
[00:22:29] Stephanie: So much easier. I think said than done .
[00:22:31] Jessica: Yeah, it is. It is. And it's a way that we're not really used to communicating with people. And to your point, right, we, I mean, especially in the context of so much going on, I think we do try to keep our conversations light and positive because there is so much heaviness.
[00:22:47] Stephanie: Any other things that we can say or questions we can.
Um, I love, like, I love that and I think that quick things that we can do to start conversations with other moms or ways to engage are really important right now. So are you, like, you know, from your point of view, what are other things we can do or say?
[00:23:06] Jessica: I am a big proponent of, I don't like to call it self care, but like self nurturing.
Right, is finding ways to, like, as you know, cliche as it sounds to fill your own cup. And that has been an, you know, ever evolving journey for me as an individual, as a mother. Still something that I am working towards and struggle with. And of course it looks different on different days, but I, I think that they, there is so much value in, in tending to
[00:23:33] Stephanie: ourselves.
What are kind of maybe three things that you do for yourself, either daily or weekly that's like really important for you person?
[00:23:42] Jessica: one has been to connect with friends. So whether I have the opportunity for an in person, you know, sit down, chat, have a glass of wine, have a cup of coffee, that's something, If it's a phone call, if it is, is Zoom.
But that is something that I have found has been really important for me in terms of connecting to. You know, a space outside of my little, my family bubble and my professional bubble. Right. That's one thing. Recently, I feel like I've been able to incorporate movement in being active, and I am finding that is, I mean, physically, of course, benefits, but in terms of stress release is huge too.
So I can't say that's a daily thing, but whenever I have the opportunity, I do like to add that in. And the other thing is, and it's different for everybody, but for me, I mean, we're coming into. Summer after a very long winter, but being outside. And the sunshine is so healing. Like I see it all around me.
You know, you ask people now, how are you doing? Oh, the sun's out. Life's good. It makes such a difference
[00:24:45] Stephanie: for us. Yeah. It's getting outside, getting that fresh air, grounding a little, and even jumping in the ocean, coming from where you are. Yes. I'm lucky. My office right now, I can look at the ocean. So I'm, I'm half a block from the beach, which is nice.
And I don't, I think I take that for granted. I don't realize how. Lucky I am that I'm right here. But it is important. Or finding that, that part of nature that resonates with you. Absolutely. I love that. Do you do anything also with your kids? Like, um, how do you stay present with your kids? Oh,
[00:25:17] Jessica: so that one is, you know, that takes, um, concentrated effort, right?
Make sure I'm gonna put my phone away. But we love to go for walks again, be outside, go for walks, go for bike rides, take our dog for a trail walk. That's kind of the thing. The other thing given their ages now that we're just getting into is board games, which I love cuz that's like, I find I can keep them engaged and we can stay really focused together on, you know, the activity versus kind of free play all over the.
[00:25:44] Stephanie: What are your favorite board games? Because you know, I have a four and seven year old also, or like, And yours are four and almost seven. Yes. What are your favorite, because I find it hard, explaining rules to the four year old and like all of that. So gimme some tips here. .
[00:25:57] Jessica: Okay, so right now we are doing candy land.
That one's pretty simple, right? Yeah. We're doing candy land. We just got, what's the one? It's like you. Pull the fish. The fish you going Oh, go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like,
[00:26:10] Stephanie: but yes, yes. The magnetic thing. Yes. It's like not go fish cuz that's a card game. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. They jumped around the things, spins you need batteries for that.
[00:26:21] Jessica: I just, Absolutely, Yes. Oh, the other thing they love right now is their, they have a little air hockey thing. It takes eight batter. Oh my goodness. I know. I'm like, Do you think they ever turn it off? No. Every time we go to play I'm like, Oh, need more batteries in this one.
[00:26:35] Stephanie: Oh wow. It's like the little, like put like air hockey.
Yeah. That's so fun. Yeah. Oh, those are good things. And it uses their mind and interacts. Yeah. That's fun. Also, like, going back to mom, you said, having conversations with them.
What are other things that you've seen, especially, Postpartum right now. I mean, I feel like a lot of us went through kind of a similar postpartum, you know, whether you had depression, whether you had just hormonal changes, , add a pandemic on that.
What are you seeing as the state of. I guess working with women with any sort of postpartum and mental health, Like besides seeking other women, like what are other things they can do and I guess self nourishing you said, and self like, Yes. Mm-hmm. stuff. What are you seeing and how are you kind of communicating it with them?
[00:27:22] Jessica: So we're seeing, I, I think a lot of anxiety. I think y you know, To your point,
[00:27:28] Stephanie: I guess anxiety yes. Is a, is one I wanna talk about because I have a lot of mom friends and I feel like the anxiety component has been escalated and I don't know if it's just a buzzword that people are using anxiety now, but it's actually been concerning to me because I know I have a lot of mom friends who are now going on antidepressants.
Mm-hmm. . I'm actually like a firm believer against it. So if anyone's listening to this podcast, like, I apologize, I just don't believe that drugs are the solution for anxiety but I feel like there's other wellness ways to treat that.
So you're seeing anxiety. How are you helping moms cope with it?
[00:28:03] Jessica: Labeling it as anxiety, right? Because a lot of times it presents as, , feeling overwhelmed, as feeling irritable. Maybe your tolerance, your patience is going right. And it's like, why am I such an angry mom? Like, why doesn't this feel more manageable? Right?
Like, No, you're experiencing anxiety, right? And that's a symptom of the anxiety. So a lot of times education around that piece is, can soften it a real, a little bit, right? Like, no, this is a, a symptom. You're not an angry mom. You're experiencing anxiety.
So that's one thing, right? And then tools for, for managing through it.
So regulating, right? Like those grounding sort of techniques we talked about. Mindfulness.
A lot of times too, it is, which I think a lot of moms struggle with, learning how to communicate your needs, right? I maybe even identifying what your needs are and then reaching out, Who can I go to for that support?
What do I need right now?
[00:28:57] Stephanie: I see anxiety coming out a lot with like you, Right. Yelling at your kids, for example, and then getting frustrated that you're yelling with your kids and them being really hard on yourself. Yeah. And so you say like regulating, can you dive deeper and unpack , what does that mean?
so I'm super anxious about everything and then I realize I'm snapping at my children more because of that. So I've recognized, okay, the anxiety is a problem, but that might not actually be the root of why I'm anxious.
So like how do we approach that? Like how do we get to what anxiety is about, where that's coming from, and then how do you regulate yourself?
[00:29:30] Jessica: So I think , two different parts, right? I think in the anxiety. , so in the moment we always go to like, how are you gonna manage through this? How are we gonna get through this really anxious moment? Irritable, feeling overwhelmed. And usually that is like noticing. So when we work with clients, we teach a lot to identify what anxiety feels like for you in your body.
Is it, you know, your breath becomes shallow, Are you shaky? Are you sweating? Is it a rapid heart rate? Right? And those are sort of those cues to, okay, my body is starting to experience anxiety. What do I need to do? And for a lot of, a lot of mom's, parents, individuals, it's taking a step, right? Whether it's two minutes, I just need a minute.
Mommy needs a minute right now. Right? And you know, it, it's something simple as deep breathing, you know, doing some sort of breathing exercise. Maybe it is opening the door and standing on the porch for a hot minute and, and getting a. Right. For some people it's grounding in a way of just, you can do it with your kids, right?
So like grabbing your kids' hand, giving them a big hug and just like smelling them, taking them all in can be enough to like start calming your own body. And then once your body is responding in a more calm state, we can often then like go back to the brain, Okay, what is this really about right now?
What do we need to do differently? And
[00:30:50] Stephanie: what are you seeing as kind of the root of most mom's anxiety right now? Is it just like overwhelmed with everything? I mean, burnout, just all the things.
[00:30:59] Jessica: Yeah, all of it. All of it. And I think the expectations of motherhood too, like it's a prime us for being anxious because they are, are pretty unattainable.
Right? Do it all.
[00:31:10] Stephanie: Are there any things you're helping your clients through that instead of just like in the moment when you're feeling anxiety and you're regulating. Are there anything else we can do outside when we're not feeling that, for example, and you know, we're going about day to day. Like is there any like practices that you have your clients do kind of on a day to day in order to maybe like, their own medicine I guess?
[00:31:30] Jessica: Yeah, I think it would go back to that sort of self nourishment piece, right? Because I often when we are, you know, at that tipping point where we are feeling a lot of anxiety, it's coming out as irritability. It's because our cup. Empty, right? We are at capacity. The pot has boiled over. So it's recognizing before we get to that point, what are some things that we can do for ourself so that we are feeling a little bit more grounded, more stable, a little bit more patient, and able to navigate the day to day challenges and chaos that come with parenting.
[00:32:05] Stephanie: And are there any suggestions as moms that we can do for our kids who we can see becoming anxious also?
[00:32:12] Jessica: I the same, the same things that we do as adults and role modeling it for our kids. Right? I think there is such power in labeling your own , um, emotions and sort of mental processes for your kids. I do that all the time, right?
Mommy's feeling really frustrated right now. Mommy's gonna take a little break. I'm feeling frustrated because we need to get out the door right now, you know, just kind of labeling what I'm going through and that gives them the freedom to be able to. To identify and express how they're feeling in those moments.
[00:32:44] Stephanie: I love that cuz modeling is so important. I think we always think we need to teach, teach, teach, but really we need to do in order to show them. And I love the like labeling things. I listen to Dr. Becky a lot. I don't know if you know Dr. Becky from Good Inside. She's , she's does more like parenting stuff, like how to parent.
Not like the mom's side, but it's always like for your kids, like when they're having tantrums like actually speaking the emotions and putting kind of words to what they're feeling. So I think as moms we have a hard time identifying that cuz like we feel like we need to be like the strong ones, the put together ones, the all of that when we need to be labeling it.
So yes. Right. Yes. I love it. So then how are you feeling today? Or what was the question I was supposed to ask? Um, are you feeling like yourself today? .
[00:33:34] Jessica: I am today. I, I am, you know, ask me in a week. It might be different, but I am feeling rejuvenated, excited, passionate, sort of, I, I felt I was getting to that point where I needed a break.
Mm-hmm. , I needed a bit of a reset. So I am starting this week out, really grateful for my ex. Experience, happy to be home with my kids, to dive back into work. So today, yes, I am feeling like myself. I could get a little bit more sleep, but other than that, yes.
[00:34:05] Stephanie: Yes. , what were the triggers, I guess, for you to say like, No, I need a break.
How did you identify that process? That, and then, Or you can speak to it from a clinical point of view, because I'm also wondering, like, I know a lot of moms , Yes, we, of course we need a break. But then going from the, Yeah, I know we need it to actually doing it. How did you you know, what's the mindset through that?
[00:34:30] Jessica: I think that I was lucky in, in this sense that I had a lot of my support people really rallying for me to take this time for myself, almost keeping me accountable to You said you needed this, you said you wanted this. You need to follow through. Right. So my, my children's father, my own parents, some of the therapists that I work with were really on board with helping me through navigating some of the logistical pieces, reassuring me with some of the worries that I had and making sure that I, I've.
Followed through. So again, going back to kind of sharing where you're at with people being vulnerable and, and really transparent with how you're feeling with your support network so that they know how they can be valuable in terms of supporting you. And in this case, it was helping me like literally to the day of getting on that airplane.
You can do this, you need this, you're gonna be fine when you get there. Yeah,
[00:35:23] Stephanie: I love that accountability and cheerleading. Accountability. Yeah, I think accountability is key in everything in business and you know, and personal, all of this stuff because it's hard for us to follow through when there's no one kind of keeping you, holding you to it.
[00:35:38] Jessica: Absolutely, Yes.
[00:35:40] Stephanie: Thank you so much for like sharing all those insights. I know we were like all over the place with different things, but I love learning about like co-parenting, about all of your battery stuff and about really just like mental health for moms right now.
So to wrap it up, I wanted to ask, what do you think is your superpower that you gained once you became a mom that makes you better at either business or life?
[00:36:01] Jessica: Ooh, that is a great question. I think. Ever evolving, but I would say flexibility, , or adaptability, right? Because there is no , no option to turn off being a mom or, I mean, other than, you know, this isolated vacation, right? There's no, there's no time away. There's no break. There is, there is no other solution other than figure it out. Right? Find what works. Trial and error.
And I think the same is with business too. I know certainly through the pandemic with my practice, you know, pivoting to completely virtual for a while, right? That looked completely different in adjustment for our business. Again, you know, it's been a bit of a silver lining because eCommerce has just boomed during the pandemic.
But in terms of logistics and supply chain issues, we saw a lot. , obstacles in that way, right? But there wasn't an option to just, you know, we're done with this. It was, how do we adapt? How are we gonna figure this out?
[00:37:00] Stephanie: I love that. And where can we find you online?
[00:37:04] Jessica: So, Better battery.co is our website at Better Battery is our social media.
I wanted to share with you also for any of your listeners, we wanted to offer a discount code for our batteries. Awesome as well.
[00:37:17] Stephanie: Yes. Yes, no, these batteries are amazing and like I, I'm using them right now and I love, I just love the, like that it's a variety pack and that I love the, when you're done with it, you put it upside down.
There's a cute little mess. Like my kids loved it. It's in a convenient box, like it's perfect. So thank you for all that you're doing to help the environment and to help moms out there. I appreciate it.
[00:37:42] Jessica: Oh, thank you so much for having me. It was a pleasure to chat with you this morning.
[00:37:46] Stephanie: Nice chatting. Thanks.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Mommy's on a Call. Your support means the absolute world to me. You can find the show notes for this episode and other goodies. Over at Mommy's on a call.com and if you enjoyed this episode or have gotten value from the podcast, I would be so grateful if you could head on over to Apple Podcast and leave a rating and review so that we can reach and empower more moms all over the world together.
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